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As seen on TV! 24/01/2007

Posted by Ian Grant in Five-a-day Awaydays.

Clearly, the five-a-day awayday is an idea whose time has finally come. Just ask “The Lovely” Adrian Chiles (but possibly not Alan Hansen, who seemed a little bitter about the whole thing, a simmering jealousy that may make Match of the Day 2 compelling viewing over the coming weeks). Anyway, BHaPPY salutes Villa Park’s fruit ‘n’ veg pioneers….

Never content to leave something half-done, Farzana Chaudry recreates the Celebrity Big Brother house in turnip form: Shilpa, with her arch-enemies Jo, Danielle and Jade, prior to her humiliating televised eviction. Yes, this is a strange dream and, no, you shouldn’t have eaten that cheese before you went to bed last night.

Somewhere in the distance, Don Fraser waves a turnip in the general direction of Frances Lynn.

Phil Harris assures us that no turnips were injured during the making of this photo. They were beaten senseless and lobbed into a bin afterwards, of course.

Having been refused admission with his turnip, Pat Considine managed to persuade the stewards to escort him into the ground for a pitchside photo opportunity, remove the produce from his person, escort him outside again, and let him back in through the turnstiles. Henceforth, The Pat Considine Gallantry Award will be given to anyone deemed to be going beyond the call of duty for the cause.

And here we see Pat with his turnip. Following some controversy over his choice of vegetable, Pat has successfully cleared his name by referring us to the turnip disambiguation page, thus proving that it was a turnip when it left Dublin but it turned into a swede somewhere over the Irish Sea.

Finally, Nick Corble and his son Ed present “A Turnip for the Book”. Yes, very good.


1. Pat Considine - 25/01/2007

I’ve put the piece up on youtube:

2. Ian Grant - 25/01/2007

BHaPPY’s spies also report that five-a-day away-days are featured on the front page of this week’s Watford Observer. A picture of Toddy with a lemon on every doormat in the town….

3. Fran - 25/01/2007

The front page!!! Oh, dear God, what have you done.

4. Phil - 25/01/2007

Unfortunately the mighty Watford Free neglected to include the BHaPPY URL in their article.

Thanks for the video Pat.

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