And finally, before the World Cup wipes our memories completely, some thunks on the season just passed….

1. “He’ll get us relegated!” shrieked a depressing number of messages to Three Counties Radio as a heavy defeat at Leicester made our situation still more precarious. Which makes you wonder whether some people have been paying attention at all: the idea that it would’ve been Malky Mackay who “got us relegated” is akin to blaming the king’s men for Humpty Dumpty’s unfortunate demise.

Already in desperate financial trouble, Watford Football Club was deserted by its manager last summer; key players followed in varying circumstances – some predictable, others much less so – before the transfer window closed. Other players didn’t, much as we’d have liked them to. Boardroom squabbling – you’ll have your own view, no doubt – in mid-season very nearly tipped the ship over. The financial trouble didn’t get any better; it just became a fact of life, a steady and persistent drizzle that never went away.

In those circumstances, to end the season more or less intact is nothing other than a miracle. The same will apply if we’re still here in twelve months’ time.

2. Much was made of the manager’s relentless conservatism: in the main, any changes beyond those forced by suspensions and injuries appeared to be the subject of many hours of deliberation, brows furrowed as arguments and counter-arguments were weighed and compared. That was undeniably frustrating, particularly when the changes required were during a game. “Cautious” would be rather an understatement.

But there is a flip-side to that. The faith kept with the core of the squad, with a line-up that you can recite from memory in a way that’s rarely true in an era of substantial squads and media-led knee-jerk reactions…well, that faith was eventually justified by a spirit that seemed to hold even when things got very tough indeed and by performances from key players that ultimately saw us through.

You can, of course, suggest that earlier changes might’ve avoided the end-of-season crisis altogether…although you do so at the risk of using Will Hoskins as potential saviour for the umpteenth, and mercifully last, time. Me, I tend to think that the manager might’ve been right – and not a little brave – to stick with it.

3. Although we surely could’ve done something when it came to the away games. Like driving as fast as possible in the opposite direction.

In many ways, the course of the season changed as much from what didn’t happen as what did: a club so completely dependent on its home form can’t afford to lose vital fixtures. By the time the winter freeze relented and home games became a possibility once more, albeit on an unplayable pitch, continual setbacks on our travels meant that we were under tremendous pressure. Games in hand are all very well, but you could see the sudden, stricken terror in that wretched defeat to Peterborough.

4. Which is a shame, really, because it’s not what the season should be remembered for. Nor does it accurately represent the performance of players and management across the whole season, the credit or debit to be carried forward. Of course, someone who barely saw an away game will have a skewed perspective…but that in itself makes for a welcome change, for it’s been a little while since Vicarage Road regulars have seen the very best of a Watford team.

And that very best was simply dazzling. A side cobbled together from bits and pieces played football that was fluent, mobile and, crucially, viciously direct; where we’d expected to sit through months of grinding struggle, we were treated to something extravagant and expansive, a skiffle band striking up a symphony. A Watford team that played with hearts on sleeves provided some wonderful, enduring moments: Tom Cleverley skirting round the Sheffield Wednesday defence to cross for Henri Lansbury to seal victory; Heidar Helguson flying in at the far post to level against Leicester; Danny Graham belting in that volley for the ten men desperately holding West Brom; Jon Marks’ commentary (“Doyley! LLOOOYD DOYLEEEY!”).

We weren’t always that great, of course. But this is Watford we’re talking about…and we really were buoyantly, brilliantly great on more occasions than you could reasonably expect, more than enough occasions to make it seem vitally important that it didn’t all end unhappily in May.

5. It didn’t, so we start again in August. Nothing’s changed: it’s every bit as hard to look forward to the coming season as it was a year ago. Except that it was possible once and it must be possible again.

In many ways, football is the least of our worries; it will be for some time to come, you suspect. The reality of the Championship is that the financial equation no longer adds up. It probably never did…but the pull of Premiership multi-millions has ensured that the sums involved even at our level are sufficiently ludicrous that clubs are fated to search endlessly for someone rich and foolhardy enough to take a punt. Or, more likely, someone with not altogether benign motives. The truth of football’s love affair with “Big Business” is that it’s created a whole load of utterly failed businesses, marooned far from anyone who cares enough to rescue them.

For now, Lord Ashcroft continues to prop the whole thing up until someone comes along to buy us; the appointment of an independent board does at least end the unseemly mid-season squabbling and provide some long-term, hearts-in-the-right-place planning. The Russos continue to pop up every now and again, their motives mysterious and their finances somewhat thin. The new football business model is to buy it up and sell it on, much in the style of “Homes Under the Hammer”, only with Craig Bellamy instead of a new fitted kitchen. It all worked out brilliantly for Portsmouth, clearly.

Who? Why? What? Frankly, I have no idea whatsoever where we’ll be in five years’ time…except that I’m not all that eager to find out. You know, these might still turn out to be the good ol’ days…

Right. One new monitor later the PC is sorted. Meanwhile, the World Cup appears to have started so I’m going to rattle this lot off…

27- Mat Sadler

Another without a first-team game for eighteen months, Sadler played twenty games on loan for a Stockport side that sank from Division 3 without trace – messageboard accounts unanimously underwhelmed. One does wonder what’s gone on here, since Sadler never looked quite bad enough to fall that low. It’s quite conceivable (though not confirmed, to my knowledge) that further appearances in yellow will trigger an extra payment to Birmingham. If so, we have a player on a high salary who won’t be doing much to earn it for another season.

Next Season: One imagines that a settlement might be discussed. It would seem unlikely that Sadler’s going to be walking into a similar contract when his current one expires.

28- John Eustace

Few comebacks have been as comprehensive or compelling as John Eustace’s resurgence last season. After a reasonably convincing first half-season at the Vic, Eustace fell out of form and favour under Brendan Rodgers. Popular consensus was that “his legs had gone”, and many of us mentally consigned him to the same “on his way” bin as so many of his contemporaries – including, significantly, Leigh Bromby and Mat Sadler, all three having been signed to plug the gaps in the doomed 2008 promotion push. Eustace departed on loan to Derby and returned on the final day of the season with his temporary employers. The nauseating memory of the Russos and Rodgers parading around the pitch – nauseating in hindsight, merely uncomfortable at the time – is the standout memory from that day. But we also saw a lithe, mobile, very-far-from-knackered Eustace getting Derby’s consolation and looking the part. As this campaign started he was expected to be peripheral, but once news broke that he had volunteered to renegotiate his contract to make pitch time more viable Eustace was definitively back in the fold. He went on to provide drive, aggression and, yes, leadership from the centre of the pitch. His penchant for dinked through balls might still demand a little patience, but you won’t find many complaining that of all those on high, expiring salaries John was the one we tried to keep.

Next Season: Having turned down Leeds to sign a new contract, John’s elevation to cult status is all but guaranteed. Good job, we’ll be relying on him heavily.

29- Michael Bryan

The vast majority of Michael’s cameos having come away from home (five minutes at home to Scunny the extent of his Vicarage Road career to date), I must confess that my infant-restricted away attendance leaves me judging Bryan largely on hearsay and reputation. Being a regular on the bench all season even when he went a long time without getting any action marked him out as one we had hopes for; he isn’t the first young winger to have looked tricky and impish and encouraging, many of his predecessors failed to become any more than that. A new contract and an international cap of all things (albeit for an injury-ravaged Northern Ireland) suggest that he could be one to watch though.

Next Season: Minus Cleverley and Harley, Bryan’s involvement is likely to be upped still further.

31- Marvin Sordell

Having emerged with a promising youth team reputation into the first team picture at the start of the campaign only to be packed off on loan to Tranmere (and a disappointing one goal in six starts), it seemed that Sordell might be going the way of Theo Robinson… a striker whose limitations had been noted internally, quashing our baseless expectations before we’d had a chance to judge for ourselves. Instead, Sordell was afforded a couple of games at the end of the season and, whilst still raw, did more than enough to suggest that there’s something to work with. Fast, awkward and aggressive are all things we could do with more of.

Next Season: Sordell would appear to be very close to a first choice pick given the current squad. One assumes it won’t stay that way, but either way Marvin’s another who one suspects we’ll be seeing more of.

33- Lee Hodson

Yeah, sure, there are limitations. Like getting exposed in the air at the far post, like occasionally being caught out defensively, like not quite being up to a 46+ game season just yet perhaps. Big deal. He’s eighteen, he started 31 games last season and on that basis he looks bloody ace. Quick, positive, one of the best crossers of the ball in the squad. Hodson might end up playing a very large number of games for Watford.

Next Season: At eighteen, already an established member of the squad.

Right. With due respect to the likes of Rob Kiernan, Eddie Oshodi and Gavin Massey, not to mention the almost mythical Ryan Noble, that’s yer lot. Now where’s my remote control…

OK, so the study situation is that the study’s looking grand but the PC is knackered. Or at least the monitor is playing silly buggers, the power light flicking on and off. Any advice welcome. Meanwhile, this is written on my wife’s laptop, and I’ve only got a half hour while she watches a recording of “Doctors”, so…

21- Lewis Young

It was always a bit unfair. Had Lewis not had a famous older brother, he wouldn’t even merit an entry here… it’s been eighteen months since he had a sniff of the first team, and longer since he looked like having a career at Watford. And yet… big brother exploded into a Premiership star and so we looked hopefully on, watching, waiting. And Lewis went to Hereford on loan, where he was Ashley Young’s little brother again. He needs a run somewhere to get over that… and he’s got something, a bit of pace, a bit of cleverness, but – based on the memory of eighteen months ago – still the frailty that Ashley grew out of. See, there I go again.

Next Season: Will get a pro contract somewhere, Division Four probably, and hopefully out of Ashley’s shadow.

22- Craig Cathcart

I have a ten month old daughter, Sofia. She’s lovely. Bouncy, cheerful, placid. She’s sitting up, babbling, trying to explore. She’ll be crawling before long, and hopefully she’ll have teeth too, goodness knows she’s been chewing her fingers for long enough.
She hasn’t always been at this stage. She was a tiny tot once, 3lb 10oz when she was born. Really, really small. Thing is, I can’t remember her being that small at all. I don’t need convincing that it happened. Babies are born, they are small they get bigger, I get it. Her little red book documents that she was once really very small indeed. I just don’t remember…
Similarly, Craig Cathcart played twelve games on loan from Manchester United at the start of the season. I know that it happened, the match programme says so. But I struggle to remember anything much about it, beyond a sense of being slightly underwhelmed…. Soccerbase tells me that he disappeared injured from Vicarage Road a couple of minutes after that goal against QPR. Okay.

Next Season: Sofia will be walkig by the end of the year. Cathcart will be on loan somewhere. Preston, maybe.

23- Jordan Parkes

Another who we’d not seen in first team action for getting on for two years, Parkes’ failure to secure a loan this season when made available was all the confirmation required that the full back who caught the eye as the youngest member of the team that got to the quarter-finals of the FA Youth Cup in 2005 wasn’t likely to earn a contract extension. His few first team outings were high on exuberance but low on defensive discipline; that wasn’t seen as an insurmountable problem since young players, particularly talented young players, can learn. Jordan evidently didn’t.

Next Season: Like Young, you’d back him to get a contract somewhere. Stevenage again maybe. Or Cambridge.

24 #1- Mike Williamson

Not a lot to say here really, beyond what is blindingly obvious. One, Williamson is a terrific defender who immediately sorted out our back line on his arrival at the start of 2009 and whose dramatic removal from it all but reversed the effect seven months later. Two, a player unprofessional enough to sulk out of an away trip to Swansea because we’re playing hardball over a potential Premiership move for a recently signed, contracted individual isn’t someone we should shed too many tears about whatever the cost to the side on the pitch. I want Watford to do well, and Williamson was certainly an asset, but I want to want Watford to do well far more; I want to like the guys in yellow. Mackay claimed to have made his peace when an unlikely return to the Vic in the wake of Fratton Park chaos was mooted in January, but better offers were always going to be on the table.

Next Season: Good enough to be a solid option for Newcastle in the top flight. Our defence still needs him, or someone like him. Never mind.

24 #2- Martin Taylor

Ultimately Williamson’s replacement both in the middle of defence and in the no 24 shirt, Taylor provided some painfully needed height in the side even if the leadership that his pedigree suggested hasn’t really been evident. In truth, Taylor has looked rusty and fallible at times, although after scarcely 100 games in six seasons at Birmingham (and none prior to joining us at the end of January) perhaps we should reserve judgment until a proper pre-season has been undertaken. Only occasionally rusty however… on his better days Taylor has been commanding and authoritative, and to refer back to the last entry I’ll take honest but fallible over the reverse.

Next Season: One of few experienced players in the squad, we need Taylor to be a fixture in the middle of defence.

25- Nathan Ellington
Good God. I mean, really. Greece. And a team sponsored by Skoda; I know that being bought up by Volkswagen means that the old jokes don’t really carry any traction any more. But really. What a bloody disgrace of a career. This is a man, remember, who Manchester United wanted to sign from Wigan until he got injured. Who somehow became a guy who completely failed to make an impact at, if we’re honest, a fair-to-middling-on-a-good-day second division side and then got packed off on loan to the only buggers who’d have him. One telling contribution to this season was a late, late equaliser at Ipswich. Not nearly enough.

Next Season: Accounts differ as to whether Skoda Xanthi signed him for the calendar year or for the season. Either way, he’s a year left on his contract and I can’t imagine that a mid-table Greek side is stumping up his full salary. Ironic really; the manager who signed him was very keen on encouraging us to “move on” on his arrival. Eighteen months and two managers after his departure, his legacy prevents us from doing so.

One third of the “actual” summer break (as defined by WFC fixtures, natch) pretty much gone. Half of what’s left is the World Cup (splendid). I think I might survive another summer.

Speaking of the World Cup, it’s galloping in fast, so I’d better get a shifty on…

16- Richard Lee

Had I been a bit quicker off the mark in getting to Part 4 of this series, this entry might have read a little differently. As it is… one of the mainstays of the Watford squad (if not the first team) suddenly isn’t there any more and it feels rather odd. As if someone had come into your living room and switched a couple of pictures around, or slightly shifted the furniture. Something’s different… but the analogy tells it’s own story. Because the thing that’s different, much as Richard Lee comes across as a splendid bloke, a very decent backup keeper and not a bad first choice keeper actually, well, the thing that’s different hasn’t been playing that big a role for a year or two and his departure won’t have a seismic affect on the team. Two Carling Cup outings this season constitute his only active playing time since before Brendan Rodgers was appointed in November 2008; a long forgotten trip to Barnsley (other than by those for whom it was an increasingly rare and rather chaotic venture onto the away circuit, sniff) the last League appearance of 92 for the Hornets. In reality, he should probably have moved on earlier; Scott Loach’s decision to sign a new contract in January probably the push that Richard needed. Had he hung around his chance as first choice might have come again but Lee, like the similarly aged Ben Foster at Old Trafford, evidently decided that he’d had enoug of waiting.

Next Season: A fine recruit for Brentford, you’ll struggle to find a Watford fan that doesn’t wish him well.

17- Dale Bennett

One of the season’s most exciting developments was the emergence of Dale Bennett as more than just a promising youngster. Jay Demerit’s departure was perhaps inevitable, but the effect will be cushioned to a point by Bennett now being a genuine, regular option in the centre of defence on the back of some quite terrific performances at the tail end of the season.
It wasn’t all plain sailing; a run of games in September concluded with a chaotic evening’s defending all round against Coventry after which Dale was quietly withdrawn back to the subs’ bench. He reappeared in the starting eleven at Preston at the beginning of April and didn’t look back, his performances showing off his pace, bravery, and a fine defensive instinct that too many of his defensive colleagues don’t appear to share. A real find.

Next Season: Am I the only one slightly anxious at Dale not having penned a new contract yet? If he hasn’t been being watched then certain scouts aren’t doing their jobs… but if our policy is to invest in potential, we should be moving heaven and earth to get him tied down.

18- Will Hoskins

It’s kind of a relief, in a way. Much as Hoskins represents wasted talent (wasted to this point) and a misspent investment (on our part), the lingering hope remained that the suggestions of ability that we occasionally saw glimpses of would crystallise into something more material and worthwhile. A little bit of application would have gone a long way, but it says a lot that none of his three very different managers at Vicarage Road kept patience with Hoskins for very long. Those that bemoaned his limited opportunities rather glossed over the fact that he’d never really demanded more sustained involvement… one of those players who perpetually looked like a decent striker having an off day. In the end, his limited involvement despite our lack of options, and despite Mackay’s encouraging noises about his improved attitude to training, left the announcement of his departure as less than surprising.

Next Season: League One beckons, probably to a larger club and a manager who thinks he can make something of the talent. Aidy Boothroyd would be a candidate, if he hadn’t been there already. Sheffield Wednesday feels like a decent bet.

19- Liam Henderson

There’s the obvious thing to say, and there’s the perhaps not-quite-so-obvious thing to say. The former, of course, is that Liam hasn’t really done it yet, or really looked like doing it, or really looked much like a professional footballer. It’s been said on these pages before – and not just by me – but if you really have no pace at all then you need the rest of your game to be tight as hell. Liam’s isn’t,not yet; 21 appearances off the bench without a start for the Hornets must be a record (no, I don’t know…), and there’s not been a goal or much of a sniff of one, either for us or in 2+6 for Hartlepool in 2008/09. And yet… and here’s the not so obvious thing, maybe… Malky’s persisting for a reason. A quite extraordinary goal return (against admittedly more limited opposition) for the stiffs suggests that there’s more there than we’ve seen, and there have been occasional glimpses of something to work with during his first team outings, glimpses that startle simply due to looking so out of place. With the ball at his feet Henderson has something. The rest needs working on.

Next Season: A new contract means that Malky is backing his man. There’s a lot of improvement required, but not one to write off just yet.

20- Tom Cleverley

It doesn’t feel quite right giving “Player of the Year” to a loanee someone on loan. I thought the same when Ben Foster won it… I’m not sure why really. Perhaps it’s because the award puts a player on a pedestal, officially rubber stamps the guy as a Watford hero, perhaps even a legend. And yet this is someone that we’re saying goodbye to.
Anyway. Emotional confusion aside, there is absolutely no denying that Tom Cleverley was our most important, significant, creative, dynamic player last season and completely deserved the award. Whilst his level of performance didn’t quite survive the full season without a wobble (as Malky has pointed out, that’s a bit ask of a youngster, any youngster), he nonetheless brought back memories of Kevin Phillips; someone so obviously belonging to a level above the one he was playing at, destined to be devastatingly effective when surrounded by better players. A fine, fine signing it will be interesting to chart his future proress; you wouldn’t rule out a first team career for him at Old Trafford, but his future will be in the top flight one way or another. Will be interesting to see if Sir Alex loans us a similarly prodigious talent next season; I guess we could do without sending his fledgling stars back injured, although this one was inoccuous enough and, unlike Foster, we didn’t pointlessly play him with the injury, so fingers crossed…

Next Season: Rumours are of Newcastle sniffing around. If I were him I’d take a top flight loan, but he’s got the ability to make it at United.

The study still has one large box and any amount of unsorted crap nesting behind me, but I’ve carved myself out a corner, plugged things in and it all seems to be cooking so on we go…

11 (#1) – Jobi McAnuff

Although it didn’t feel that way at the time, I think we should perhaps be grateful for Jobi’s handful of appearances at the start of the season. The haphazard excitement of the win at the City Ground saw the last hour of his Watford career and was all I saw of him in our colours this season, but by all accounts his final four outings encapsulated Jobi at his most frustrating. Odd glimpses of devastating brilliance layered with rather more prolonged spells of irrelevance and petulance… had it not been for this timely reminder we might have mourned the loss of Jobi rather more, mindful of his fine form under Brendan Rodgers at the end of the previous campaign. As it was, McAnuff’s next appearance was against Watford having been reunited with his former manager. Having already prized money out of the Royals for Rodgers, and then seen Tommy Smith pull the rug dramatically and deliciously we were able to see McAnuff as the cherry on the cake as far as our fractious early-season relationship with the Berkshire club was concerned.

Next Season: McAnuff seemed to have a decent season at Reading, but that’s always been the thing, hasn’t it? He always looked exciting playing for other clubs… Wimbledon, Palace, West Ham, Cardiff. A player I’d always hoped we’d sign. Then we did and… well. Perhaps there’s something to read into the relatively frequent moves, and into the stories linking him to yet another sideways move to QPR.

11 (#2) – Heidar Helguson

There are several stick-in-the-memory images that will survive in the memory from this season. One of which I’m sure will be referred to in passing below. Another, I think, will be the sight of Helguson exiting stage right against a vanquished Reading, and Danny Graham’s enthusiastic appreciation for his strike partner, his urging of the Vicarage Road stands to match his own applause. Helguson’s second (and, technically, third) spells at Vicarage Road never quite managed to match the game against Leicester for heroic drama, but nor should they be cheapened by comparison with his first spell at the club, nor by the situation he found himself in. Quite clearly unfit for long periods, Helguson continued to put himself on the line in a manner quite unbefitting of a mere loanee. If his lack of mobility in the second half of the season limited his effectiveness, eleven goals in twenty six starts interrupted by injury was nonetheless a decent return; in competing and battling in a fashion that other loanees in the recent and not recent past really haven’t done, he displayed a professionalism that shouldn’t be taken for granted in retrospect.

Next Season: H will be 33 in August, and as we’ve seen this season will not be a young 33. It was suggested more than once during the year that a deal to retain H was all but agreed; if this is the case we’ll benefit from his experience and brutishness in a side lacking in both qualities. If not… I think we’ll appreciate the reasons why.

12- Lloyd Doyley

There are still detractors, clearly, and there are conversations that are just not worth having. Like… if you don’t get why the MK Dons are an abomination then it’s really not worth explaining to you. Again. And like… if you really are going to buy the Daily Mail through choice then your thought processes are so far removed from mine that I can’t begin to put myself in your shoes and as such will never win the argument. Nor do I want to, frankly. Those daft enough to dismiss Lloyd as a problem that needs solving just haven’t been paying attention. Fortunately, as second place in the Player of the Year award reflects, a fair few have. Oh, and that goal…

Next Season: Lloydinho will be here forever. Splendid.

14- Ross Jenkins

After a strong 2008/09, the last campaign was somehow less impressive from the youngster. The greatest problem appeared to spring from an uncomfortable midfield partnership with John Eustace that never quite worked; whilst not fulfilling identical roles, the two never really complemented each other and as Henri Lansbury found his home in the centre of midfield Jenkins was always going to be the fall guy as the rejuvenated Eustace brought some much needed gravitas to the midfield. Still a teenager, it would have been nice to have seen a bit more of Jenkins alongside Lansbury in some ways; in any event, the lad has a bright future and might benefit from only having played half the season; more experienced players found the full whack a very tall order.

Next Season: Still in and around the squad and probably a first choice in the centre again as the squad stands. One to be patient with – this boy will be a star.

15- Jon Harley

There can’t have been many Watford supporters who wouldn’t have liked to keep Jon Harley. He may have been a nasty little bugger but he was our nasty little bugger, and even off the bench provided both venom and an option in several positions when such were needed. Thing is… if you were starting from scratch with our budget, there’d be little justification in spending what must be a considerable wad on an experienced player who was, at best, the first choice cover in a number of positions. We simply don’t have that luxury. Some might argue that Harley was under-utilised as a left back as the only senior left-footed player in the squad; as mentioned a few times on these pages he was never dependable enough as a defender for my money, caught too often out of position. In any event, Harley was never going to stay, having made what is presumably a very healthy nest egg out of seeing out contracts and negotiating signing-on fees as a free agent ever since he left Chelsea in his one big-money move as a 20 year-old.

Next Season: Somewhere like Preston seems a sound bet, with Darren Ferguson taking a broom to the Deepdale squad. Or perhaps a return to Burnley, one of few who will have enough loose change to recruit experienced cover. Good luck Jon in any event. Job done.

I have to confess that after a fortnight in the new house I still haven’t unpacked my study. Therefore I still don’t have a match programme from last season to guide me through the various different sporters of each first team shirt so apologies in advance if I miss someone and have to backtrack. I would of course be unpacking now, but Rahelle is in bed next door to the study and has just got up and thrown the curtains open at 8.30pm proclaiming, “It’s morning!”. Anyway…

6- Jay Demerit

August’s exodus, and the ostracism (if only temporary in one key case) of several others left our captain as one of very few experienced players in the first team squad. Bullish, aggressive, athletic Demerit may be, but he never really carried the captain’s armband comfortably or convincingly; his absence with a freak eye injury was keenly felt, but Demerit’s form over the season suffered in comparison to his resurgence alongside Mike Williamson at the end of the previous campaign, a partnership that never looked like being recreated alongside Martin Taylor. The recent announcement of Demerit’s departure confirmed what has been evident since he postponed contract discussions until after the forthcoming World Cup Finals. Jay has been a terrific servant to Watford, his attitude and application never in question but he’s always needed a senior partner. Would have been splendid to hang on to him, but in the circumstances of needing to shed higher earners and with the forthcoming jamboree serving as an opportunity for Jay to secure a big signing on fee for perhaps the last time, we should all wish him well.

Next Season: The accepted wisdom seems to be that Jay is moving abroad. Joining the considerable American influx to the Bundesliga seems a reasonable punt, perhaps to a solid bottom-half side. Which gives me an excuse to insert Borussia Mönchengladbach in a BHaPPY post for the first time…

7- Don Cowie

Don’s form suffered towards the end of the campaign; frankly he looked exhausted. Whether it was a case of too many games, carrying a knock or merely loss of form, popular opinion seemed to turn unsympathetically against the Scot – never a boo boy, he nonetheless seemed to attract more grumbles than seemed entirely fair. When on song Cowie is industrious, deft and clever… not quite quick enough to be a top winger, quite obviously, but then if he had pace to complement his other considerable attributes he wouldn’t be playing for us. As reliable a deliverer of set pieces as there is in the squad as betrayed by his lofty position in the Assists table posted a week or so ago, Cowie will remain one of the cornerstones of next season’s team. Good job too.

Next Season: A key man.

8 (#1) – Tommy Smith

It seems like an awfully long time ago, but Tommy played five games at the start of the campaign before his dramatic departure, scoring twice and creating four in that period. That rare and precious thing, a consistent and reliable frontman, it’s rather tragic to have seen Smudger struggle with injury and, along with everyone else, the general chaos at Fratton Park. He was never going to stay, of course, much as he apparently wanted to, and the abortive move to Reading was very funny indeed, but it seemed inconceivable a year ago that Smith’s season wouldn’t be a continuation of the invention, drive, skill and verve that characterised his second spell at Vicarage Road.

Next Season: Wolves were certainly interested a year ago; whether rumours of renewed approaches are the work of Tommy’s agent or something more substantial remains to be seen. Michael Kightly’s ongoing injury problems suggest the latter is plausible. It would feel odd rooting for Wolves, though…

8 (#2) – Stephen McGinn

Explicitly “one for the future”, in adherence to the advertised and sensible model of spending what little money we spend on potential, McGinn showed flashes of this potential at most. That’s fine really; the caveats presented on his arrival prevented any unreasonable expectations developing, but it’s fair to say that McGinn’s occasional cameos whilst suggesting an enthusiasm to get stuck in and get involved haven’t exactly demanded a starting berth as yet. Seemingly destined for a central midfield role, his outings in wide positions have seen him drift inside in search of the ball.

Next Season: It seems inevitable that we’ll see a lot more of McGinn, and make demands of that potential.

10 – Danny Graham

There’s a danger that the lasting memory of Danny’s first season at Watford will be of his extended barren spell during the second half of the season, unhelpfully mirroring a similar goal-free run during his last season at Carlisle that had been noted by many on his recruitment. It would be unfair if this were so… Danny not only ended up our leading scorer but also our leading creator of goals, and it was generally acknowledged that even when the goals weren’t going in for him the side looked a lot more potent with him in it. Frankly a striker so mobile, so honest and so aware of what’s going on around him is always going to be an asset, even if a general bedraggledness, a lack of selfishness and arrogance that I remember discussing early on with my co-editor, means that spells without scoring might crop up again. We’ll all put up with those I think, particularly if Graham ends up being paired with the pace that could exploit his intelligent link-up play.

Next Season: The only striker on the books at the time of writing who could even generously be described as “experienced”, a lot of weight is on Danny’s shoulders going into the new campaign. Arguably the player we can least afford to get injured, as it stands.

Might be worth kicking this off to give myself half a chance of finishing it before everyone’s suddenly too interested in the World Cup to remember Ryan Noble. If you fancy going back over last year’s School Report you can find most of it in the June 2009 entries.

1- Scott Loach

Arguably the one eminently marketable asset who we managed to hold on to, Loach penning a new deal in January was a significant boost on a number of levels. If we can afford not to cash in on a(nother) source of a couple of million quid straight away, we’re not right up against the wall, just a step or two in front of it perhaps. And equally significantly, Loach opting to commit himself to the club in the face of more lucrative offers said good things both about the spirit in the camp and at least one player’s perspective of the club’s immediate future, and of Loach’s own broader outlook. Erstwhile colleague Ben Foster’s experience, sitting on the bench (at best) at Old Trafford at the age of 27, might have been a factor in Loach deciding that perhaps he could afford not to make the step up quite yet. I must confess to wondering more than once whether we might have been better off with a couple of million quid though… young keepers do tend to make mistakes; could we have done better with whatever proportion of that fee we could have afforded to reinvest, at least in the short term? A moot point. Loach stayed and contributed to our survival.

Next season: Today’s paper stories suggesting that Loach might be interesting Tottenham and West Ham don’t feel like an accident. Scott is probably on his way, and with a few years on his contract will fetch us (and Lincoln) more than he might have done. Good luck chap.

2- Adrian Mariappa

Still only 23, Mariappa has evolved into one of our senior players – a fact underlined by his occasional captaining of the side early in the campaign. Clearly captain material too, as betrayed by what was probably the worst team performance of the season; Mariappa made mistakes against Peterborough at home, but many of them borne by forcing the issue, trying to do something different on a difficult pitch on an afternoon when nothing was working and offer some leadership in a side that was badly needing it. His reward was a barracking from a criminally short-sighted Vicarage Road that lead to his substitution. These last five minutes were the only five minutes that he missed all season; another to have signed a new contract, he remains a huge asset.

Next season: Jay Demerit’s departure suggests that Mariappa might finally get to settle in his strongest position at centre-back.

3- Jure Travner

Having been the exotic, unknown quantity amongst last summer’s recruits, Travner’s failure to progress beyond the occasional place on the bench suggests that the enthusiasm prompted by Youtube clips a year ago was perhaps unfounded.

Next season: Destined to join the ranks of the likes of Sietes, Junior and Adam Griffiths in Watford folklore, the one consolation being that our current recruitment strategy is turning up far fewer punts that didn’nt quite work out than it once did.

4- Scott Severin

Whilst it’s fair to say that Severin didn’t make the desired impact, it’s also slightly unreasonable to write him off as a failure. His half-a-dozen starts might not have pulled up many trees, a distinct lack of pace being one obvious limitation, but the re-emergence of the man he was signed to replace was the biggest factor in his failure to add to them. His reaction to being gradually sidelined appeared pragmatic rather than stroppy, and he spent the second half of the season on loan at Kilmarnock.

Next season: Whether Severin has a future at Watford once again seems dependent on our bearded midfield general. You’d guess not, though.

5- Henri Lansbury

At times I must confess to have perhaps having been quite hard on Henri Lansbury; asking a nineteen year-old to play virtually a full season in central midfield is a big ask. Jack Cork had done as much at the same age the previous season of course (with two different clubs), and Ross Jenkins, younger than Lansbury, had been similarly impressive. But this was a challenging benchmark, and whilst Lansbury at his best was the equal of his fellow loanee from Old Trafford – most memorably and gloriously in the demolition of Sheffield Wednesday at Vicarage Road – he didn’t hit his best quite as regularly. That his weaker performances suggested a lack of application probably didn’t do him any favours but as Malky Mackay – rightly wanting to advertise the benefits of a secondment at the Vic – has been keen to point out, the tail end of the season saw Lansbury deliver the goods far more reliably even as the side struggled around him. More comfortable alongside an enforcer in central midfield than in the hole behind the striker, he still needs to learn to keep his temper and needs rather more of the good days, but on those good days it’s more than just the physical stature that suggests Steven Gerrard.

Next Season: Kinda surprised at the time that Arsenal gave Lansbury a new contract mid-season. I guess that’s why Arsène’s doing what he does and I’m, um, not. Malky has suggested that we’d like him again; Lansbury’s cameo in Arsenal’s final game could be interpreted as a carrot prior to a further loan spell.

Here we are again. Listed below an account of this seasons “assists”, tallied up by ploughing through match reports, youtube, and any other source of information at hand.

As ever, my figures differ from those tabulated on the Official Site, which will in part be down to differing definitions of what constitutes an “assist”… here I’ve defined being fouled for a converted penalty as an assist, although that didn’t actually apply in practice since all the penalties we scored this season were won by their scorers, and assisting your own goal doesn’t feel quite right (else the lead at the top would be even clearer). No assist for being fouled for a converted free kick, and if a cross is flicked on then both crosser AND flicker-on get the assist. In this respect the table differs from that in previous seasons so you’re not comparing like with like if you look back at the 2008-09 or 2007-08 equivalents – only the flicker-on assisted previously. That’s stats for you, welcome to my life…

Thoughts? Well my instinctive response on seeing who topped the table was “well that’s surprising”, followed by “well no it isn’t, really”. Despite his lean goalscoring streak mid-season, few could dispute Graham’s overall contribution; a successful season for last summer’s recruit all round. Slightly alarming that (at least) six of the top nine are varying degrees of unlikely to be with us next season, but big respec’ as ever to Tommy Smith for a very significant contribution to our early season form.

Finally, slightly disappointing to see that Lloyd didn’t manage an assist this time round after six over the previous two seasons, but it’s the “one” in the fourth column that we’ll all remember…

Unaccounted for:

Helguson vs Sheffield United (h)
Graham vs Scunthorpe (a)
Helguson vs Cardiff (a)
Sordell vs Coventry (a)

April 1970. Watford had just survived their first season in the second tier, an achievement amply garnished with a run to the semi-finals of the FA Cup.

Elsewhere Diana Ross had just left the Supremes, Concorde had just flown its maiden supersonic flight, Black Sabbath had all but invented heavy metal. In the days building up to April 28th Apollo 13′s oxygen tank exploded and the Beatles split up. Something crazy was clearly going down.

On Tuesday 28th April 1970, it did.

Happy Birthday ig, you old bastard.