1. Yes, yes. All of that, if it makes you feel better. The kind of game that causes message-boards and phone-ins to explode in indignant condemnation, simply because it’s the kind of game that looks worse and worse as the clock ticks towards ninety minutes; the only memory is of misplaced passing and aimless hoofery and general desperation, whatever might’ve preceded it at more pivotal moments of the game. It’s like judging the Ramones on the endless fall-outs, departures, comebacks and misjudged solo ventures during the eighties and nineties rather than the really important stuff. (A bit, anyway. Don’t linger on that for too long.)

2. And that’s a shame: before Swansea shut us down completely in the latter stages of the second half, this was very far from hopeless. The reality was that a great deal of blood, sweat and tears went into the creation of any chances, whereas our opponents appeared able to glide effortlessly over the halfway line whenever they could be bothered and absent-mindedly missed a whole bunch of absolute sitters (apart from one, sadly) in the early minutes. Nevertheless, the response to going behind was terrific, a clear sign for those of an optimistic leaning that we’re not just going to slump into abject self-pity.

We remain frustratingly short of ruthlessness in front of goal…but we could justifiably claim to have been unfortunate by half-time, a genuine team effort having pushed Swansea right back onto their goalline. We will be fine if we can summon up more of that. Although it’d be nice to do it without the windswept open spaces in the defence….

3. It’d be such a disappointment if a bright, positive season were to end with a frantic scrap for survival. We’ve managed to build a team from bits and pieces…and it’s a team with deficiencies that grow more obvious as pressure is applied. But it’s also a team that’s delivered a whole load of really rather splendid football, played with wonderful spirit: that I seem to have spent a large part of my time at Vicarage Road this term worrying about whether we’ll score a third to secure the points speaks volumes.

The mood seems to have soured significantly in the last couple of weeks, perhaps understandably…but narrow-ish defeats to Newcastle and Swansea do not mean that our home form has gone the way of our results on the road. The next two fixtures are critical, obviously. To my mind, we keep faith with a settled side rather than wasting energy on pointless re-shuffling; we keep our heads, above all.

4. And we try to avoid a situation where our right-back is hounded from the pitch by a tetchy crowd for the heinous crime of shinning a couple of passes into the East Stand, despite the fact that he’s the only player prepared to pick up the ball and run at pace at the massed defences, an approach that yields what appears to be a very reasonable penalty claim at a stage when everyone else has completely run out of ideas. That’s just daft.

5. Finally, the pitch. Lordy. Earlier in the season, constructing a side to play neat, incisive pass-and-move football seemed like a pleasantly pragmatic, innovative approach; now, when every attempt at a first time pass results in injured spectators or an opposition counter, it seems just a little unwise. There is, of course, nothing that can be done about it now. Perhaps a little patience, though, when passes go astray and first touches come multiplied by the half dozen; perhaps a little understanding too when we’re tempted to belt the ball through the smooth, undivoted air rather than try to coax it through the ragged wasteland. That’s our opponents’ twelfth man, that is…

Five thunks from the first League win over City since Boxing Day 1998, Gifton at the corner flag and so forth. Yes, really.

1- We are seriously going to need everyone uninjured, and the likes of McGinn and Buckley up to speed sharpish if we’re to cope with our March fixture list on that evidence. A deserved three points… but impressive particularly because we kept City largely at arms length in the second half despite their improvement and our utter exhaustion. Saturday being free is probably welcome, but we’re down to play eight times next month.

2- City’s first half was abominable, bearing comparison with QPR’s chaotic visit in December. Flat, low on confidence and ideas, and looking rather stroppy and fed-up all told. The QPR-comparison was sealed by Patrick Agyemang’s reprise, to limited effect.

3- That City’s second half improvement yielded so little was thanks in no small part to our sudden defensive resilience. It’s too early to award Martin Taylor the accolade of having the same dramatic impact as Mike Williamson’s signing had a year ago, but so far so very good; Jay Demerit looks a whole lot more confident and reliable, Adrian Mariappa has been released into a buckaneering right-back, and the challenges just bounce off Taylor, who is immediately an asset at set pieces. We’re not completely watertight, there were nervy moments when a livelier forward line might have capitalised. But a dramatic improvement all told.

4- Liam Henderson. There’s something physically not quite right about him. It might be so obvious that I’ve missed it… maybe he’s got no neck or an extra shoulder or something, but he just looks… wrong. His appearance off the bench was clumsily ineffective; clearly short on pace, it’s difficult to see how he can make a sustained impact without everything else in his game coming together. His continued involvement speaks volumes about both our limited options and Will Hoskins’ low stock. And I’d better credit RW with input into this thunk or he’ll only go all mardy on me again…

5- However desperately short on goals Danny Graham is, we do look a better side with him in it…

Five thunks from a much-needed win at Vicarage Road

1- How very badly did we need to play against a side as accommodating as the Blades. For twenty minutes we looked quite tentative, and then… it wasn’t merely a matter of noting that our opponents weren’t as good as their position suggested. More that a United side comprised of a pick-and-mix of second tier journeymen (many of them ours…) scrawled this in large, difficult to miss paint-spray all over their penalty area every time a ball went anywhere near it. Nonetheless, it took an unchallenged flap from Mark Bunn and a couple of unexploited free headers before we realised that this was there for the taking, and took it increasingly confidently. In the second half United’s penalty area was a coconut shy… the only slight concern being that we didn’t do more damage than three goals all of which, as Kevin Blackwell noted, owed something to United’s defensive deficiencies.

2- Key point of the game was Scott Loach’s fine save from Chris Morgan’s header. That goes in, it’s a different game. It didn’t, so it wasn’t…

3- Compare and contrast our new Premiership-reserve centre-back to theirs. Martin Taylor looked a little rusty, but was essentially just what the doctor ordered. Large, uncomplicated, aggressive and effective merely in his presence… He didn’t NEED to get his head to our attacking set pieces, in attracting two or three markers he was already causing havoc. Nyron Nosworthy in contrast looked like he hadn’t played for twelve months, although a nervous goalkeeper behind him probably didn’t help. He’ll want to improve on a quite comical debut. The only concern re Taylor was an apparent hamstring injury picked up late in the game…

4- Doris and Jordan haven’t changed much. It’s a bit much to chide Doris for his aggressive style, we benefitted from it for long enough; he was at least restrained in his conduct in what threatened to be an inflammatory first half. Meanwhile we saw the best and worst of Stewart… a fabulous, clearing, covering header as a ball came over from the left in the second half, but petulance, misplaced 9-iron passes and the highlight, a flicked backheel past that went straight to a yellow shirt. Don’t think he was worth the half-hearted booing that he got, but can’t say I miss him.

5- Lloydy, through on goal on the penalty spot. Yes, really. Getting your head to a cross/shot was once thing, but that would have been truly mighty. Although the keeper’s reaction and a slightly heavy touch saw the chance disappear, the incident confirmed that the second goal won’t be any less fun than the first…

Five thunks from a disappointing trip to the Keepmoat Stadium.

1- It seems somewhat churlish to complain. We knew the limitations that we were operating under this season; Malky Mackay has achieved wondrous things in the circumstances and expectations consequently need to be consciously kept in check. Nonetheless, this was disappointing; a deserved defeat against a tidy enough Donny side, but a Donny side that only ever looked like being put under pressure in the closing minutes.

2- Most concerning perhaps, given that this was with the possible exception of McGinn our full armoury, was our impotence in turning a reasonable amount of possession into chances. Donny had done their research, and played us to a tee… a disciplined, high defensive line exploited our lack of pace in attack, and robustly got their head to things when balls came into the box leaving us looking short of ideas. The introduction of Bryan, a hopeful punt in this sort of game, spoke volumes – it didn’t work, Bryan never got the ball in dangerous positions, but our need for something different was painfully evident.

3- In central midfield we were particularly disappointing. Henri Lansbury took 60 minutes to make any kind of contribution (albeit then testing the keeper with a fine rising shot from distance, like an adult playing with kids who had finally lost his restraint and let rip). The result was that whilst we made bringing the ball forward look difficult, Doncaster passed through our midfield effortlessly. Only Cowie’s industry, Doyley’s diligence and Loach’s brilliance (in a game where only his shot-stopping, rather than decision-making, were tested) relieved the gloom.

4- We discussed on the way up that Donny boss O’Driscoll’s curtailed dalliance with Burnley could work for us (the failed attempt to move on unsettling the home side) or against us (relief in the manager staying). The answer appeared to be provided by the wild celebration to what proved to be the winning goal, Donny’s squad (including the surely-he-must-be-dead-by-now John Oster and the ever-reliable James Chambers) bundling their boss on the touch line.

5- A word, finally, for referee Andy Hall; he booked three players and will have harder games to referee, but frankly I barely noticed him and don’t remember a single contribution. Good work, that man. Looking back over the history books, only a late penalty conceded at Cardiff last season, which I wasn’t at so can’t comment, blots his record. Having refereed the monumental clash at Bramall Lane in 2006, and tolerated the Steve Palmer “dodgy keeper” incident against Bournemouth in 1998 do not. Being churlish, he could have been harsher on Donny’s aggressive defending, particularly that of the impressive Shackell, but today’s result was nothing to do with him.

Five thunks from the Boxing Day encounter with Forest

1- First off, one should perhaps (in the absence of Peterboro thunks) acknowledge that it’s rather good to actually have a club to trundle out to watch at silly’o'clock on Boxing Day. However genuine or otherwise the threat to the club’s future presented by Russo’s disgusting posturing in the wake of the AGM, it felt real enough. We’re here, watching football. That will do for starters; the future comes later.

2- Nottingham Forest. This incarnation of the “Tricky Trees” is hewn entirely in their manager’s image… peevish, miserable and charmless. Chief protagonists were pantomime dame Lee Camp, and the remarkable Chris Gunter. A note, Chris… if you’re going to feign injury to get an opponent booked, best bet is to time your yelp of pain as the tackle arrives rather than a minute or so before it. You’ve a better chance of success if the opponent doesn’t take the ball cleanly, too, but see also (3). And then Billy Davies himself, celebrating a nil-nil away from home as if he’d secured promotion, despite watching his left back get away with a save on the line that his keeper would have been proud of (if he’d got anywhere near Lansbury’s shot) seconds earlier. Class? Never heard of it.

3- Andy D’Urso. Almost a parody of himself… a quite extraordinary combination of pedantry and utter inability to keep up with play. Rous Stand onlookers were, I am advised, able to hear Gunter’s comedy yelp, divert attention to D’Urso to confirm that, no, he wasn’t paying attention and then look back at the ball to see Helguson’s tackle win it cleanly. A referee ought to be able to keep up with that I think. At times he was almost a tribute act, too cornily like D’Urso to be credible… his incompetence was largely incidental until the final few minutes…

4- An open game, one of those that it was difficult to reconcile with a nil-nil scoreline. Equally difficult to understand is Forest’s ongoing unbeaten away record… a decent side with plenty of attacking options, but neither infallible enough to steamroller all comers nor defensive enough to stifle games. For our own performance… one has to worry about the sudden tentativeness in front of goal. Four blanks in six games now, and whilst the build up is still good – by the end of the second half we were well worth three points, as Davies’ reaction demonstrates – we no longer have the conviction or the end product enough of the time. The magnificent Cleverley (see 5) is a reliable source of something, but Graham’s workrate and touch rather than his sharpness in front of goal are what’s keeping him in the side. That and lack of alternatives, natch.

5- With four loans (originally) due to end at the end of the year, it makes sense to review at this point. Cleverley is already secured for the rest of the season of course, and here again he was terrific; our lack of confidence is evidenced by his being the sole outlet however, reliable as he is. And opponents are wise to him, witness the excellent McKenna’s disciplined call to arms whenever Cleverley wandered infield. Cathcart, it seems, has already gone back; whether his loan would have been extended in the absence of injury now a moot point, but at best it seems fair to suggest that he hadn’t been wholly convincing. As with many of our centrebacks, one imagines that he’d look better alongside a more dominant figure, a Williamson; brought in to add competition, he at least covered Demerit’s absence better than we might otherwise have done. Helguson… well if this was to be his last outing at Vicarage Road in yellow (which seems likely with a halfway intelligent veteran of Championship management now in at QPR) it went sadly unmarked and unrecognised. All his performance lacked was a trademark lunatic far post header. Finally Lansbury, whose performance today epitomised the frustration. Clearly he has ability, on his good days he has stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Cleverley. But some days he just doesn’t look that bothered, and this was one of those. The most intriguing of the decisions regarding loanees, then; Cleverley and Cathcart decisions made and clear, H we’d like to keep but one suspsects won’t be able to, Lansbury… without him we’re short of an attacking central midfielder. But you’d prefer someone you could rely on to turn up…

Sorry, bit of a long thunk there. Have a good New Year, and see you for the shit-or-bust at Stamford Bridge…

1. Hang on, haven’t we already played these? For reasons best known to themselves, Derby decided to turn up in fancy dress: “Sorry, Nige, I’m right aht of Brazil 1970 and England 1966,” said the man in the costume shop. “Forest’s European Cup winning team, y’say? Well, I could order it for ya. Tell ya what I ‘ave got: Coventry City 1989. It’s on special offer.”

With a line-up featuring Robbie Savage, Lee Hendrie and Paul Dickov – a Sports Personality of the Year shortlist in an alternate, much more tetchy universe, possibly one in which Craig Bellamy is prime minister – and a formation built from concrete and asbestos, it’s actually quite hard to believe that we didn’t lose to Coventry yesterday. Derby are dreary, ugly industry in an old Coventry kit. But we’d do well to remember our ambitions weren’t exactly sky-high in August either.

2. As churlish as it always seems to whine about the referee after a defeat, an already cold, dull afternoon wasn’t exactly improved by Mr K Stroud. One of those officials who sets daft precedents: a couple of innocuous fouls early on requiring him to blow his whistle for every bit of physical contact thereafter; an early booking for Jon Harley when a lecture would’ve sufficed, leading to a rash of yellow cards for nothings and somethings alike. The inevitable result is that the rest of the ninety minutes turns into an administrative chore, like spending two hours in the spectators’ gallery of a magistrate’s court in a rural village.

3. So, anyway, let’s not put it off any longer: Derby completely out-witted us. As tempting as it always is to blame our own failings – of which there were some, but probably no more than on several occasions when we’ve emerged with beaming smiles – the match was mainly about the little bit of turf in front of their back four. There, Robbie Savage was nailed to a post like a scarecrow, barely moving more than twenty yards during the entire game; he did exactly the same job, and to the same effect, as John Eustace on his debut against Wolves a couple of years ago.

Aware that most of our attacking interchanges – the sly balls into Danny Graham, the bursts from Tom Cleverley, the cross-field switching of Don Cowie – take place in that area, Derby simply occupied that crucial space from first to last and effectively eliminated the threat of all three in the process. Add some tight pressing in other areas – particularly out wide, where, with Cleverley placed elsewhere, we lack anyone who’ll take on and beat an opponent – and you’ve got a perfect recipe for containment. We were trying to play expansive football in a broom cupboard. A rite of passage for a young side, in many ways; challenges they won’t have faced before.

4. And for a young manager too. Because in a game that always looked like to be settled by a set piece, there was no obvious change to be made: the most keenly-felt absence was that of Henri Lansbury, someone to provide the option of an extra body in midfield, an occasional unexpected charge forward, and a bit more height at corners and free kicks. Needing to bypass a midfield that we couldn’t play through, we found ourselves in a contest that played to very few of our strengths; even then, even as the defeat seemed utterly inevitable, a couple of the hopeful lobs towards the penalty area nearly fell for us late on. A game of small margins.

5. Let’s not be downhearted, then. A season ticket to Vicarage Road has thus far offered quite fantastic entertainment, even allowing for intermittent reminders that we’re not the finished product. And that there will never be a finished product, given that we’ve borrowed several cups of sugar from the neighbours. This, on the other hand, was cold and brutal, a dry Ryvita after we’ve got used to buttered crumpets with raspberry jam. It was a defeat born of our opponents’ pragmatism, their clinical and cynical determination to prevent us from doing what we do best; that’s to their credit, much as it was also to our immense frustration.

But there’s a healthy pragmatism in our dressing room too, it seems to me. Without any pompous pronouncements about how football should be played, we’ve attacked with dazzling, inspiring, thrilling verve much of the time; it’s hard to recall a Watford side capable of quite so much excitement without invoking Graham Taylor’s name. The previous manager’s dogmatism has fallen away: the point is that we’re playing like this because there are enough teams in the division who won’t get tight enough, who won’t have Robbie Savage patrolling that bit of space, who won’t concentrate all of their energy on denying us any room in the final third. It’s our best bet, with what we have available. It’s got us to tenth at Christmas-ish, which is not far short of a miracle. We just have to persevere, nothing else for it.

Five thunks from the evening the earth stopped turning.

1- There’s only one place to start. Time stands still. The rain falls upwards. Lloyd’s goal was just a marvellous, beautiful moment; like much of the Rookery, I had imagined Ellington turning around and celebrating. Identifying Lloydy’s frantic, helpless ecstasy elevated celebrations to a whole new level. How to do the event justice? Well we had a good go… the atmosphere had been flat as our bluntness, shorn of H and Lansbury, saw us struggle to make much of our superior possession. After the moment? Pure joy. Not (much) triumphalism, just a thoroughly happy, bouncing crowd, as if we’d all just shared some kind of epiphany. And the mood was shared on the pitch, as our game took on a joyous bounce. The only slight disappointment was that Messenger was driving, and had hence foregone the option of going to the bar before half time…

2- QPR look a state, particularly in front of goal… but this was still a gutsy, unlikely win. Any number of previous vintages of Watford team would have crumbled in the face of Patrick Agyemang’s goal (and it’s peculiarly solemn celebration); the Lloydy goal defined the match, perhaps we wouldn’t have won the game without such a momentous turn of events (our movement and composure went to pot for five or ten minutes before the equaliser). But whatever the circumstances we came from behind two days after defeat in Newcastle against a side with an extraordinarily star-studded bench. Big grins in Hertfordshire.

3- Liam Henderson. For the first time, we get it. Some great touches and contributions from the young striker who, as my brother observed, has shoulders that begin around his ears. His lack of pace is likely to limit how he can be employed, but there’s something there to work with OK.

4- Fitz Hall. So very nearly three red cards in his last four visits (which also saw the play-off scrap with Boothroyd). Damion Stewart could also have gone as Rangers lost their composure.

5- Some tremendous performances all over the pitch. Great to see Demerit’s decisiveness back in the side, even if he looks a strong candidate to depart in January. Lee Hodson is just wonderful. Don Cowie improves with every game. Lloydinho’s performance was magnificent even if one (ha ha) discounts the goal. And Tom Cleverley, in a central role that might have challenged him, looked tidy, quick, clever, tenacious. What a player this lad is going to be.

Five thunks from a comprehensive victory over Scunny…

1- The more this goes on, the greater is the credence to the argument that we’re not playing a succession of bad teams at home… we’re making teams look bad. Our midfield was again phenomenal, Lansbury and Cowie in particular standing out, and that movement and ball retention is going to expose plenty of teams, even those that haven’t had to cope with an early morning hotel fire alarm like Scunny. It could have been six.

2- With half an eye on the recent trip to West Brom, Palace and Newcastle could both be interesting. Scunny tried to bully us in the first half, indulged by a refereeing performance that reached extraordinary levels of preposterousness after the break, and more experienced, more solid teams will do so better. How we cope with Warnock’s trolls and mutants will be informative.

3- No weak performances today. Not one. And Lee Hodson is just bloody ace.

4- It really nearly happened again, didn’t it? And this would have been a beautiful moment for Lloydy to open his account, what with Grant absent at a photography course (I ask you!) and Messenger having already departed for his half-time pint. I do hope it happens when Messenger’s at the bar…

5- Scunny do seem to like their gobby little strikers. A visit to Glanford Park a few years ago was dominated by Martin Patterson (now Burnley) mouthing off incessantly, this time it was Gary Hooper. Like Patterson, a decent looking striker, but he didn’t half go on… Scunny looked tidy in the final third, but it wasn’t nearly enough.